Saturday, February 26, 2005

The Onion's News In Brief

Bush Determined To Find Warehouse Where Ark Of Covenant Is Stored

WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprise press conference Monday, President Bush said he will not rest until the warehouse where the Ark of the Covenant, the vessel holding the original Ten Commandments, is located. "Nazis stole the Ark in 1936, but it was recovered by a single patriot, who braved gunfire, rolling boulders, and venomous snakes," Bush said, addressing the White House press corps. "Sadly, due to bureaucratic rigmarole, this powerful, historic relic was misplaced in a warehouse. Mark my words: We will find that warehouse." Bush added that, after they are strengthened by the power of the Ark, U.S. forces will seek out and destroy the sinister Temple of Doom.

2 Comments:

Blogger damaradeaella said...

hey you, girl... wait!!!

it's time to update your blog, dammit!!!... i'm pregnant and bored and need something to read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:13 PM  
Blogger damaradeaella said...

if you don't update this blog soon, i'm gonna kick ya :)... love you... only three more weeks!!!

7:20 AM  

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