Scattered Images

I love this.

2011-04-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

A love like that...

2009-07-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

Even after all this time the sun never said to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.

~Hafiz

A book with an interesting cover

2009-05-22T10:14:00.001-07:00

Wisdom comes in many different forms.

You don't have to be handicapped to be different, everybody's different.

kim peek
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Peek

This is why I love Will Smith.

2009-04-12T11:26:00.000-07:00

Nothings hotter than someone who can laugh at themselves.

I believe...

2009-01-17T02:32:00.000-08:00

That what I do matters.

Prop 8 - The Musical

2008-12-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

I love it!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Discrimination

2008-11-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

Here is a list I found of the companies that contributed in support of Proposition 8.

AES Corp.
Affiliated Computer Services
AgReserves
American Express
Avista Corp.
American Express Company
Azul
Beneficial Financial Group
Bonneville International Corporation
Black & Decker
Brigham Young University
Cadence Design
Cornerstone Realty Income Trust Inc
Corvis
Central Pacific Bank
1-800-... Read MoreContacts
Cygnus Inc.
Diebold
Dell Computer
Deseret Management Corporation
Dionex
Downey Savings and Loan
EarthShell
Fisher-Price, Inc
Five Star Quality Care, Inc.
Franklin Covey
Hillenbrand Industries
Headwaters, Inc.
Heinz Asia/Pacific
Hollywood Entertainment (Hollywood Video)
Host Marriott (Marriot Hotels and Resorts
Iomega
JetBlue
JP Realty
KeyCorp
Knight Transportation
Kroger foods (Ralph’s and Albertsons)
K-Swiss Inc.
La Quinta Properties, Inc (La quinta Hotels)
Micrel Semiconductor

Micro General
Merit Medical Systems
Monaco Coach
Microsemi Corp.
Myriad Genetics
Novell
NPS Pharmaceuticals, Inc.
NuSkin

You can find it here too.

No more Bush!

2008-11-12T22:46:00.001-08:00

I love to dance...

2008-10-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

Care to join me?

Pink is the new hug

2008-10-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered John (Halcyon) Styn's video journal on you tube and have been enjoying it immensely. I have collected some of my favorite quotes... Enjoy!

Granpa Caleb:
The highest things in life can never be expressed they can only be felt.

Let us never loose our sense of wonder and let us always have fun.

You only live once, enjoy the color.

Always leave space between your togetherness because no one meets all the needs of every person.

If you don’t have love you don’t have what holds the world together.

Halcyon:
Suffering is the result of being at war with reality.

Let go of what happiness looks like. It doesn’t look like anything it feels like something!

I'm sure there will be many more...

Jason Mraz - I'm yours

2008-10-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

A lesson on happiness

2008-10-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

This year at Burning Man I learned that what you put out there is what you get. Negativity begets negativity. If you are looking for light and love you must radiate it first. It's all about perspective.

do more, need less

2008-10-15T23:25:00.001-07:00

See! I'm not the only one!

2008-10-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

This just in...

2008-10-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

When refrigerated for long periods, carrots turn into soup.

It's a fact.

no absolutes

2008-10-12T15:12:00.000-07:00

Trustworthy

2008-10-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

When we endeavor to become self aware it makes it easier for us to be honest with others and more importantly, with ourselves. Most people don't understand the equation: Strength + Integrity = Truth and to know truth is to have trust.

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence”.

On relating...

2008-10-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

One becomes fearless only when one has gone through the deepest fear of all — that is the dissolving of the ego, the dissolving of the image and the dissolving of the personality.

Osho

Burning Man 2008

2008-09-05T21:39:00.001-07:00

Coming back to the default world this year, I did not feel a "significant" change like I usually do. I do not feel like I achieved the respite that I so desperately needed. It's been hard. I don't feel recharged. Something was missing, I could feel it all week and I have my theories…

However, tonight as I looked at my friends Burning Man pictures, I came to a realization… Actions really do speak louder than words. In my friends pictures I was able to see myself though their eyes and at that moment I knew what the problem was…

The only time you are truly free is when you let your heart run wild.

"love like you have never been hurt"

subleasing the soul

2008-08-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

Why invite someone in if you aren't going to be home?

Warm body needed. Open space available. Facilities available, but not necessarily functional depending on purpose. Feel free to make yourself comfortable but please pick up after yourself, as I will be detached.

Life's little lessons...

2008-08-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

I knew it would be a solo trip,
But I wanted to see how far I could swim.
I wanted to know the ocean,
But I knew there was only so much I could explore alone.
I saw as much as my single soul could see.
Even when the waters became turbulent,
I swam.
I did not fear becoming lost,
In my struggle with the waves I found myself.
I am not afraid to die,
Since, I am not afraid to live.
I only came back to shore when I realized I would rather drown in someone’s heart than sink in isolation of cold and loneliness.

bike miles

2008-07-27T13:49:00.001-07:00

How to Survive a Broken Heart

2008-07-21T19:23:00.001-07:00

How to Survive a Broken Heart
Originally uploaded by Lush.i.ous

This makes me smile.

Flavor

2008-07-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

Only one thing has to be remembered: be authentic, be sincere to yourself. Declare your truth, whatsoever the cost. Even if life is risked, risk it, because truth is far more valuable than anything, because truth is true life.

~Osho

All about me.

2008-06-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

Sun in Capricorn Happy when successful, managing, or in control. Influential manager, teacher, politician.Rating:bad(restrictive)

Moon in Aquarius: needs novelty, change, and friendship, on a daily basis. Rating: bad(chaotic)

Earth/Asc in Scorpio: dark, forbidding appearance. Rating:bad(scary)

Mercury in Aquarius: brilliant, original mind, altruistic. Rating:excellent(brilliant)

Venus in Aquarius: values friends, causes, originality, and independance, Rating:bad(strange)

Mars in Sagittarius: active faith, traveler, adventurer. Rating:very good(ethical)

Jupiter in Pisces: opportunities in the arts, mystical, dreamer. Rating:bad

Saturn in Cancer: security through home and family. Rating:good

Uranus in Scorpio:(1974-75 to 1981) This generation freely explores sex and the occult. Rating:bad

Neptune in Sagittarius:(1970 t0 1984) These people are addicted to travel and religion. Rating:bad

Pluto in Libra:(1971-72 to 1983-84) It's all or nothing when it comes to relationships. Rating:bad

Midheaven in Virgo: analytical ego, career in office work, clothing, food, and services. Rating:good

This is acording to www.librarising.com. Interesting to say the least...

Embracing destruction

2008-05-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

I came home Wednesday night to find my that my computer had crashed. I wasn't able to reboot it or use the safety feature, my only choice was to recover what I had lost. In the process I was able to create a backup of my old files but alas, I can not retrieve any of my old documents. Which means... All my journal enteries, including my school papers, are gone. All my downloaded music is gone. And worst of all... My pictures are gone too.

I'm ok with that. I have decided to embrace this misfortune. I will see this as a cleansing. I will not look back.

This Sunday I'm going take my computer to best buy and spend money to save as many pictures as they can.

The color purple.

2008-05-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about the color purple. I've always been drawn to it. My room is purple, my dishes are purple and someone once told me my aura was purple. I looked up a few things on the meaning of purple, here are the results. Enjoy!

Element:
Water

Spirituality - Strength - Passion - Meditation - Magic - Mystery

7th Chakra: Crown (Sahasrara) Top of the head

Keywords:
wisdom, spiritual, dignified, impressive, dramatic, vitality, relaxation, determination, spirituality, psychic awareness, third eye, higher self, motivation, passion, excitement.
Properties

The 7th Chakra is known as the Crown Chakra bringing to us our universal connection - all is one.

A perfect balance of Red and Blue, instilling both Strength and dignity, Violet is the color of Spirituality. It is the color of people seeking spiritual fulfillment.

It helps us align ourselves with the Oneness of the Universe, knowing we are powerful and in control, yet keeping us "Right Size"

it's hot.

2008-05-15T17:15:00.000-07:00

The last time I felt heat like this I was on the playa. This kind of weather makes me crave black rock city.

Lately when I'm driving I've found pretty good electronica or jungle music on the college stations. I blast it and move, and all those memories of dancing under the stars until the sun comes up pour into me like a liquid kiss and fill me with tasty golden goodness . I love love LOVE it.

I can't wait! Only 100 more days until my feet hit the playa!

Dust angels I'm coming home!

War is hell...

2008-05-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

Love is much better!

50ish ODD Things About Me

2008-04-27T00:48:00.000-07:00

1. My favorite possession is my sense of humor. It keeps me going.

2. I don't own a gun but I grew up with them. I have shot everything but an automatic and I am a pretty good shot.

3. I get a little nervous before doctor appointments.

4. I like hot dogs that are kosher and *real* turkey.

5. My favorite Christmas song is Silver Bells

6. In the morning I prefer to drink Peet's coffee or tea

7. I can't do push ups.

8. My bathroom is clean, but since I like to dye my hair bright red washing it has turned the tub pink.

9. My favorite piece of Jewelry is a necklace that holds a silver coin with a phoenix stamped on one side and on the other, Ohm.

10. Nanaproxen Sodium is the only pain killer I take on a "monthly" basis.

11. I have A.D.H.D.

12. I have the belt of Orion on my right shoulder.

13. 3 things I drink regularly are: water, tea, and coffee. Occasionally, during finals I drink a lot of diet mountain dew.

14. My favorite place to be is Black Rock Desert during the last week in August and the first week in September.

15. I am currently single. I like the idea of meeting someone I can co-exist with.

16. I don't believe I need to sign a piece of paper to legalize my love for somebody. I'd rather have a huge party than a wedding.

17. I think I would be a good parent, but I don't want kids. I have never wanted or felt the need to have children.

18. My favorite color to wear in my hair is red. My favorite color to look at is Blue and green. My favorite color to wear is black.

19. Considering how pirates really lived, I don't think I would enjoy being one.

20. I am sexually attracted to males.

21. I don't like to sing in the shower, but I'm a rock star in my car.

22. When I was 5 my mom took me to see The Elephant Man. I couldn't sleep by myself for a few months and since then I haven't been able to sleep with the closet door open unless someone else was in the room with me.

23. Since I was a kid my nightmares consisted of Tornadoes, Tsunami's and the dead coming back to get me.

24. My worst injury was when I fell off my parent’s bed at the age of 3. I was rushed to the hospital, tied down and received something like 8 stitches. I carry the scar by my left eye.

25. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you are loved back.

26. The worst feeling in the world is disappointment or greasy pizza, I can't decide.

27. I think I am my friend's loudest friend.

28. I always wish on shooting stars.

29. I love sushi, Thai and In and Out. I love (chili) hot food too!

30. My favorite candies are smarties, kisses and white chocolate.

31. At my funeral I want everyone to leave drunk and full of good food. It should be the best going away party ever.

32. The first thing I usually think of in the morning when I wake up is that I have to pee and do I have time to get more sleep (the later if it's a work day).

33. I'm completely turned off by narcissism. I hate it when people spit too.

34. When I need to relax I read a book.

35. I believe that it's impossible for Earth to be the only planet with life and that energy is all around us in various forms that we can or can not sometimes see.

36. My greatest fear in life is losing the people I love.

37. I am not afraid of death, that is, I am not afraid to die.

38. My birth parents are still together, I love them both and we are very close.

39. Sometimes people say I intimidate them. I am open, honest and I learn quickly. I am a free spirit. I am forgiving, but I never forget. I can be influenced, but I do things because I want to do them. I am not a follower.

40. I have one friend who has known me since I was 5, one friend who’s known me since I was 7, one friend who’s known me since I was 9, and 1 friend who's known me since I was 15. I wouldn't trade them for anything. There are few people outside of family who know the fundamental you.

41. I am currently in school. My major is OT and my minor is Psych.

42. The first thing I do when I get home is take off my bra, then shoes and socks.

43. I don't like drama. I'm not a girly girl, but I am very affectionate and I love to cuddle. I like to wear make-up but not all the time. I'm not a hippie but I'm a nature girl and other than my bright red hair, I like the natural look.

44. I always dress up for Halloween.

45. The weirdest place I have slept is on a cot in the parking lot of Wals-mart. I was in my sleeping bag, under the stars and toasty warm.

46. I try to stay away from labels. I usually rip them off or hide them when I find them on my clothes. I don't like to advertise.

47. I love jeans, hoodies, and docs. I have curly hair. My ears are pierced 9 times but I only wear the top two in my upper left ear.

48. I have jumped into a pool with my clothes on.

49. I am obsessed with LOST.

50. I never understood the loofa thing.

51. I like to spread the word of Garlic.

52. Genetics first, psychology second, and astrology third.

53. I have unintentionally named all of the vehicles I've owned.
#1. The Doom Buggy: a little black hatchback. When I brought it home from the auction I started to clean the "stain" from the fabric of the back seats and discovered the chocolate was actually blood.
#2. Babe the Blue Ox: a Taurus. My first stick shift. Thank you mom for teaching patiently how to drive it.
#3. Karmakitty: the Saturn I bought from Chris’s mom! I drove that car everywhere…
#4. Ziggy Stardust: a silver corolla stick shift.

Evolution

2008-04-09T22:57:00.000-07:00

This is a quote from Chris's (aka Anomaly) myspace blog.

"And to hold back what you are feeling means you are afraid to hurt, and therefore, afraid to TRULY love."

Funny how the defenses we use to protect us actually end up doing us more damage in the long run.

The saddest comment ever...

2008-03-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

Them: We should put on some music.
Me: I have a a new CD, it's stellastarr*. They're new, you'll love them.
Them: "If I'm going to listen to something it's going to be something I know I like..."

Little did I know their last comment spoke volumes...

well, actually I did know, which is why life is much more happier these days.

Love quotes

2008-03-18T16:33:00.000-07:00

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

"You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person." - anonymous quote

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"You don't love a woman because she's beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her." - anonymous quote

"It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death." - Thomas Mann

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness" -Nietzsche

"When the one man loves the one woman and the one woman loves the one man, the very angels desert heaven and come and sit in the house and sing for joy." - Brahma Sutra

"A fool in love makes no sense to me.
I only think you are a fool
If you do not love." - anonymous quote

"The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention." - Richard Warren

"If you would be loved, love and be lovable." - Benjamin Franklin, "Poor Richard's Almanac," 1755

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom." - Charles Dickens

"True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist,
Nor can it be hidden where it truly does."
- anonymous quote

"A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries." - anonymous quote

"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." - Rumi

"Forgiveness is the final form of love." - Reinhold Niebuhr

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life." - D. H. Lawrence

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe

short attention loves short film

2008-03-02T17:14:00.000-08:00

1. Speaking the same language doesn't guarantee understanding.
2. Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away.
3. Sometimes it's better to give up the check.
4. We're not alone in our struggles.
5. Grandmas who help out are cool.
6. Don't live in a trailer if you are going to beat your children.
7. (see #1)

Last lecture

2008-02-18T13:55:00.000-08:00

My mom sent this to me today.

If you have time for the longer version...

Meant to be...

2008-02-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

In December I became the owner of a new car and as the dealer was driving it away I thought, "How shiny it is like stardust, Lady Stardust...no, it's a stick. Ziggy Stardust!" and so the name of my car was set (somehow all my cars seem to acquire names).

Last Friday I set up Ziggy's registration at the DMV and as the lady kindly handed me my plates she showed me the "birthday" for Ziggy. "Birthday"? I said and gave her a confused look to which she replied, "Oh that's just what I call every new car's registration due date." "How cute"! I said and then I looked at Ziggy's birthday... January 8, 2008. Wow...

Aren't coincidences neat!

15 hours later...

2008-01-02T01:50:00.001-08:00

As I was driving home from Arizona today I noticed that I've always managed to name my vehicles...

#1. The Doom Buggy
#2. Babe the Blue Ox
#3. Karmakitty
#4. Ziggy Stardust

Oddly enough it's not intentional.

Saudade

2007-11-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

Just like Tigger, I'm the only one!

2007-10-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
0
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

numberology...

2007-09-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why I read this stuff, but it seems to apply this week...

7: An experience with suspicion or uncertainty was not altogether unwarranted and seems to have set you on a new and more determined path. Take things slowly! This cycle demonstrates the immaturity of those who think they already know it all, and the intuitive mastery to be gained when we respect all our natural instincts (not just some of them), and pay attention to what they are telling us.

I love you man!

2007-09-22T00:48:00.000-07:00

You fucking rock!

Who knew...

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz's code for life

2007-09-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

This pretty much sums up my Burning Man experience for 2007...

2007-09-21T18:43:00.000-07:00

Hey DJ
Tonight
I'm seeing stars

Once again, I find myself with my friends
Dancing the night away
Its like the party never ends
Then again we don't want it to stop
Cause tonights the night
It goes sweat box, laser beams, flashing lights
Wild cards, Men from Mars
Dressed in Stars and stripes
Eclectic electric
Ladies of the evening
Drinking booze and mingling
Mashing to the music, I can do anything
Freaky dicky star speckles and pink butterflies
And life is nice, so nice.
I walk into a club and Ive found paradise
I'm seeing stars, I cant believe my eyes

Oh my starry eyed surprise, sundown to sunrise
Dance all night
We're gonna dance all night
Dance all night to this DJ
Ah Sugar, dance all night to this DJ
Oh my starry eyed surprise, sundown to sunrise
Dance all night
We're gonna dance all night
Dance all night to this DJ
Ah Sugar, dance all night to this DJ
Dance all night to this DJ
Lover dance all night to this DJ

Like the record spins on the trails we blaze
The walls are closing in but thats ok
Because Ive been waiting all week to feel this way
And it feels so good, so good
I'm on top of the world
The coolest kid in the neighborhood
So let me be your star for one night, that's right
Sweat box, laser beams, flashing lights
You've got to feel the rush
Feel the spice of life, love-life
Shifty rolls the dice snake eyes surprise
Icing..Mesmerizing.
The minds are sick ones
Cause what we are, is victims of fun
Come on, come on, the fun is just begun
Come on the fun is just begun.. Ha Ha!!

Oh my starry eyed surprise, sundown to sunrise
Dance all night
We're gonna dance all night
Dance all night to this DJ
Ah Sugar, dance all night to this DJ
Oh my starry eyed surprise, sundown to sunrise
Dance all night
We're gonna dance all night
Dance all night to this DJ
Ah Sugar, dance all night to this DJ
Dance all night to this DJ
Lover dance all night to this DJ

It goes
Oooh la la
I see stars
I'm seeing stars x2

Oh my starry eyed surprise, sundown to sunrise
Dance all night
We're gonna dance all night
Dance all night to this DJ
Ah Sugar, dance all night to this DJ
Oh my starry eyed surprise, sundown to sunrise
Dance all night
We're gonna dance all night
Dance all night to this DJ
Ah Sugar, dance all night to this DJ
Dance all night to this DJ
Lover dance all night to this DJ

~Shifty

My favorite quotes of the month.

2007-09-15T22:59:00.000-07:00

Beware as long as you live of judging by appearances.
~Jean de la Fontaine

We do not remember days. We remember moments.
~Ceasare Pavese

Dreams are real while they are happening. Can we say any more about life?
~Havelock Ellis

If we always do what we’ve always done we’ll always get what we’ve always got.
~Toni Worst

Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.
~William Jennings Bryant

Almost all of our unhappiness is the result of comparing ourselves to others.
~Anon

They who dare not offend cannot be honest.
~Thomas Paine

To err is human, to forgive is divine.
~Alexander Pope

The vast majority of human beings dislike and even dread all notions with which they are not familiar. Hence it comes about that at their first appearance, innovators have always been derided as fools and madmen.
~Aldous Huxley

Survival is not about the continuation of what is, but has an evolutionary quality that connects the past to the future, bringing us forward in time and in spirit.
~Jeff Jawer

So...

2007-09-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, bored as hell, trying to be good.

All week I've been waiting for Friday...here it is and I think to myself...

Is there something to do?( this is where it pretty much stops) I know what I'm in the mood for and I know that later this month I will have it but for right now...

There's places I can go, people I can see, but all I can think about is what I want and that is two weeks ago in the past. Nothing can really compare to that.

so instead...

I seek out new life and new civilization to visit. Yup. I've got itchy feet, and I feel the need to move more than ever.

This burn has effected me in a strange way. I've been bitten by the travel bug. I need more. You can only travel so much internally. My outer environment need to progress before there is anymore inner exploration.

homesick

2007-09-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

I can not bear my sickness. The need to go back is so strong, it's something primal. Liquid candy fills my ears, my eyes fill up with glorious visions and sweet sensations fill my being. It's almost too sweet to endure. I smile and rhythm fills my soul. I recollect.

Pure is the heart at first when we depart. Something special, and adventure awaits. No expectations, little worries, no fear. Blue skies and a dusty lake. A travelers dream.

Wrapped in warmth and blister kisses, exploration prevails and sets us free. It's the heart that shows us the way home.

Delicious. I revel in it, enjoying it's simplicity. Dripping slowly down my skin it sets me on fire.

Scorpio Rising:

2007-09-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

Empty yourself out completely, and do it gladly. With impish daring, lower your expectations all the way down to zero. Surrender every remnant of hope you might be tempted to cling to. With a jaunty nonchalance, pretend you have nothing to lose. And then open an enormous welcome in your heart for the messy, unpredictable sweetness of life exactly as it is. Say yes to the beauty of ambiguity and paradox. Free yourself to accept every person and every situation on its own terms. If you try what I've suggested, I bet you will be united with a potent blessing you didn't even know you needed.

Funny, I was just headed that way.

I'm homesick...

2007-09-09T23:52:00.001-07:00

new boots..

2007-09-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

I've been naughty... but I'm ready for the Love Parade!

My puss

2007-09-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

Our playa neighbors across the street were playing a male version of this song.

My Puss

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Here's the version I heard on the playa.

Leftovers...

2007-09-06T01:10:00.003-07:00

I woke up Monday afternoon in my bed for the first time in 9 days and immediately got up to find shade before it got too hot. Imagine my confusion when I found that I wasn't on the playa. It took me a while to get over that one.

I keep forgetting to flush the toilet.

When the sun goes down I want to holler.

I have a restless urge to wander about and find good music to dance to when night falls.

I refuse to wash the playa from my flip flops/hat/bike/camel back...

I miss sleeping under the stars.

My miss my camp mates and the best neighbors EVER!

I can't believe the jungle juice is all gone...well, actually, yes I can. :o)

I can't seem to wipe the smile from my face, nor do I want to.

*sigh* life is good.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

2007-09-06T01:08:00.000-07:00

The point is not knowing another person, or learning to love another person. The point is simply this: how tender can we bear to be? What good manners can we show as we welcome ourselves and others into our hearts?

~ Siddalee Walker

Burning Man 2007

2007-09-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

I had a great time. No, let me rephrase that, I had a f*cking BLAST!!! I've had 3 favorite years on the playa, but of the three 2004 and this year were, I believe, the most pivotal for me. I learned a lot about myself this year, wishes came true and then some. I met some pretty fantastic people and I walked/danced so much I lost two toe nails (or somebody might have stomped on me, it's hard to say)!

This year was a rough one. In my preparation to burn, I kept my expectations to a minimum; my only wish was for a cleansing of my soul, to come back a clean slate. Tabula Rasa. Not only have I come back with a sense of rebirth but it comes with some wonderful memories which are awesome to say the least.

As Chris and I were driving away I could see the temple burning. Earlier that day I left a little memory of my uncle who had recently passed and as I watched the fiery temple fall I was reminded of him. I thought the temple would represent more to me, but my thoughts were only of my uncle. At that moment it occurred to me how often we take time for granted, putting things off or waiting for that other moment, when what really matters is now. Now is when we live, not then, not later. Now is what memories are made of so shouldn't we live them to our fullest and make them worth remembering? I think so.

Here's to love, friendship, generosity and peace.

Some of my favorite playa quotes...

2007-09-04T18:44:00.000-07:00

1. Are we there yet?
2. Somebody needs a hug.
3. More juice less dust.
4. I think the man's on fire.
5. The man is on fire!
6. Why not!
7. Best neighbors EVER!
8. You will be guilted for this later.

I'll post more as they come to me...

Playa education 2007:

2007-09-04T18:41:00.001-07:00

1. If you take care of your physical/emotional needs you can party longer and better. Party smart.
2. Love should be kind, friendly, sweet and gentle.
3. If you should loose something and it comes back to you then it was meant to be yours.
4. Everyone should dance at least once a day.
5. We should never take the people we love for granted (or treat them like poo).
6. Bring Incense to the playa. It's nice to smell when all you smell is dust.
7. Meetings are good.

more to come...

My new toy!

2007-07-09T07:34:00.001-07:00

I've downloaded most of my music minus a few compilation sets. I have decided to listen to every song, deleting the ones I find unworthy of the pod. I am currently on song #637. Only 4467 to go!

learning...

2007-07-08T00:24:00.000-07:00

Trust and hope.
I give it my all.
Turn and twist
Instincts crawl
Soon I will have it,
I'll witness it all.
In smile I wait
It's never too late.
And that's where I'll be
Homeless and free.
Happy and new
Who knew it would be.
Yea.
Skip.
Bump around a bit.
It's all good!
I like it!
I like it a lot,
Even when you're being a snot.

I love the sound of breaking glass.

2007-07-05T23:48:00.001-07:00

Kurt Vonnegut's MIT Graduation Speech

2007-06-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen:

Wear sunscreen!

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4:00 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statemen ts.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on to.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander.

You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. You never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it . . . for more than it's worth.

...But trust me on the sunscreen.

Life's little lessons

2007-06-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.

Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.

Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.

Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.

Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?

Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).

Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.

Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.

Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.

Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.

Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.

Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.

Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.

Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.

Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!

Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.

Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.

Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.

When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.

Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.

Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.

Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.

Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.

Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.

Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.

Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.

Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.

Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.

Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.

Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.

Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.

Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.

Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.

Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.

Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.

Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.

Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.

Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.

Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

2007-06-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't do that.
You wouldn't
I couldn't
bits of pieces scattered in me.
they burn and hurt
I wish it would stop.

I Don't exist.
I never did.
I was denied.
A bogus ticket.
Paid in full.
A trip to nowhere.
I never mattered.
I never was.

2007-06-04T15:21:00.001-07:00

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Life should be ecstasy.

2007-05-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

Sun:
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "To have more, desire less." I urge you to make that your motto in the coming days, Capricorn. You're in a phase that's ideal for expanding your horizons by cutting back on your attachments. Your wealth will grow if you renounce any greed you may be harboring. Your power will intensify if you give up your longing for control over things you can't control. So be brave. Be nervy. Have fun. As you shed insubstantial wishes and barely-relevant obsessions, you may come to resemble a monarch.

Rising:
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Militant atheists make the claim that religion has always been a primary cause of war. If humans weren't under the sway of "the God delusion," they fume, armed conflicts would be infrequent. But military historian Eric Bergerud says that's absurd. He notes that while there have been a few religious wars, "most wars in history have been driven by the lust for power and loot." In other words, the materialist delusion is far more lethal than the God delusion. People who believe there's nothing of value beyond what the five senses can perceive are often the most dangerous of all. Make this the seed for your meditations, Scorpio. Think about how much less fear and loathing you'd suffer if you knew for a fact that your soul lives forever. Imagine the peace and wonder you'd feel if you knew there are realities and spiritual beings that aren't visible to the naked eye or to the technology that science has thus far dreamed up.

Moving on...

2007-05-08T15:17:00.000-07:00

“Whenever suffering happens, don't collect it. Allow it to happen, but don't nourish it. Why go on talking about it? Everyone talks about his suffering. Why is there so much emphasis on it? Why give so much attention to it? Remember one of the laws: that whatsoever you pay much attention to grows. Attention is a growth helping element. If you pay attention to something, it grows more.”
Osho

Karma

2007-05-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

Those who don't remember the lessons of the past are condemned to repeat them.

~George Santayana

Off to the right!

2007-04-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

I arrived in New York at 6:something AM. It was an ungodly hour, I had very little sleep and I was still suffering from Strep. When I landed it was starting to rain and little did I know I had arrived in time for a huge storm! But none of that matters, I had a great time even if I spent the first 3 days under an umbrella.

Thankfully my friend met me half way (Fulton subway stop) and I'm even more grateful for the woman who stayed with me because I was going the same way, otherwise I would have gotten lost for sure. Apparently, the A train (airport to Manhattan) was being worked on.

My first impression of Manhattan... I felt right at home. Growing up in L.A. I was used to big cities, only this one is much older and historically speaking, I think, more interesting. I wanted to take pictures of every old building I saw, every statue, every landmark, everything!

Upon Arrival, My friend and I quickly headed to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, then to the Neue Galerie, and since we had time we stopped by the Guggenheim (I keep wanting to call it the googleheim). A bit later we met up with the room mate and ate dinner at Jeckle and Hyde. The food wasn't impressive but the atmosphere was neat. Finally we walked around for a bit and ended up in Times Square, that's when it started thundering and pouring rain so we headed home.

On Monday I woke up with a mean sore throat. Sunday was my last day of antibiotics and they didn't work. I quickly headed to the Metropolitan hospital and was there from 10am to 4pm. I guess it was nice to know that where ever you go somethings never change. I had a nice chat with a lady who also had strep, all in all it was an interesting experience. I met up with my friend later and walked around the city and ended up at Grand Central Station before heading home. I was out like a light.

I spent the day with the room mate on Tuesday, she accompanied me on my search for old Manhattan cemeteries. It was a good lesson in Manhattan history, recent and old. We walked everywhere including Soho, Little Italy, and Chinatown. Since one of the cemeteries were located directly across from the World Trade Center I took some time to take a look around. There were many tributes to the tragic events surrounding the World Trade Center buildings and all had worth in their own right, but I couldn't help the feeling of it being all propaganda. No, none of it was propaganda, but our government seems to use it as such. I felt bad that the memories of all the people who died, during that time, are sometimes used in the name of war.

Much of my time on Wednesday was spent wandering around lower Manhattan. I checked out most of the big buildings before taking a spill in front of the N.Y.Library. That was embarrassing, a nice man helped me up and I laughed it off before hobbling away. Later I met up with a friend and we grabbed a ferry that took us around the bay. After grabbing dinner we continued to walk everywhere.

Thursday was spent in and around central park. It's beautiful. I love how every where you go there's a little artistic surprise hiding behind a tree/bush/lake. I found the Belvedere Castle which has a great view of the north rims of the park. After watching turtles try to mate I made my way to The Dakota. I didn't know the exact location of John Lennon's memorial so when I found Strawberry Fields I was somewhat taken. When I saw the mosaic I my emotions rushed me unexpectedly. I felt so sad for Yoko Ono. I can only imagine what it would feel like to lose the one person in the world who truly made you happy, who completed you. It broke my heart to think of her loss. I was lost at how a single event could have such an impact on humanity. It's amazes me at how fragile we really are and yet we're capable of great strength.
What would a trip to N.Y. be if you didn't go see a show? If I new how cheap the prices could be I would have been there every night. Instead we there one night and Spamalot was the show. It was great! I don't think I've laughed so hard and for so long.

On my last full day there, Friday, I visited the Museum of Natural History and the Moma. I spent way too much time in the History, all mourning, but it was fascinating and there's waaay too much to see. Throughout the week I buried myself in the city, exploring everything and anything I could get my hands on. Not once did I miss California until Friday. As I was finishing up my visit in the American Museum of Natural History, I came upon the North American Forest section. I turned the corner and homesickness hit me. Taking up an entire wall of the museum was a gigantic slice of Red Wood found in Big Basin Forest and cut down in 1881. At that moment I was glad I would be heading home the next day.

My last day on the right side was Saturday. We woke up, ate a good breakfast and headed of to the Museum of Sex. Yup, nothing but porn and the history there of. Interesting to say the least.

It was once pointed out to me that if there was porn to be found, I would find it. It's true, it's my special talent.

It was sad to leave my friend, but I was looking forward to getting back.

On another note: My strep throat never cleared up. It took 5 days of eating raw garlic to make it go away. I thought I was going to have to take them out, thank goddess for natural antibiotics!

Dia De Los Muertos

2007-04-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

John Lennon was right...

2007-04-02T14:49:00.000-07:00

"There is no meaning existing in life -- one has to create it. Only if you create it will you discover it. It has to be invented first. It is not lying there like a rock; it has to be created like a song. It is not a thing; it is a significance that you bring through your consciousness. Don't wait for it. It never comes by just waiting. "

Osho

Our questions answered...

2007-04-02T14:48:00.000-07:00

In human history, how did marriage evolve, and the subjugation of women?

This is the compromise that human beings have made: to be secure about the future, to be certain about the tomorrows, to have a guarantee that the woman who loves you is going to love you forever, that it is not a temporary affair....

That’s why religious people say that marriages are "made in heaven"... a strange kind of heaven, because if these marriages are made in heaven, then what can you make in hell? They don’t show the signs, the fragrance, the freshness, the beauty of heaven. They are certainly disgusting, ugly... they show something of hell certainly. But man settled for marriage because that was the only way to have private property.

Animals don’t have private property -- they are all communists, and far better communists than have appeared in human history. They don’t have any dictatorship of the proletariat and they have not lost their freedom, but they don’t have any private property.

Man also lived for thousands of years without marriage, but those were the days when there was no private property. Those were the days of hunting; man was a hunter. And those people thousands of years ago had no cold-storage system, no technology -- whatever food they got they had to finish as quickly as possible. They could only hope that tomorrow they will get some food again.

Because there was nothing to accumulate, there was no question of marriage. People lived in communes, tribes; people loved, people reproduced, but in the beginning there was no word for "father." The word "mother" is far more ancient and far more natural. You will be surprised to know that the word `uncle’ is older than the word "father" -- because all the people who were the age of your father... you didn’t know who your father was. Men and women were mixing joyously -- without any compulsion, without any legal bondage, out of their free will. If they wanted to meet and be together there was no question of domination. The children never knew who their father was, they knew only their mother. And they knew many men in the tribe; someone amongst those men must have been their father, hence they were all uncles.

As private property came into existence with cultivation.... With hunting, man could not survive long. People have destroyed complete species of animals. Hundreds of species which once used to dance and sing on this earth... man has eaten them up. Something had to be done because hunting was not reliable. Today you may get food, tomorrow you may have to be hungry. And it was very arduous. The search for animals did not allow man to develop any of his other talents, his genius. But cultivation changed the whole life of man.

You must be reminded
of the fact that
cultivation
is the discovery of women,
not of men.

The woman was confined -- she was not able to go hunting. Most of the time she was pregnant, she was weak, she was carrying another soul within her. She needed care, protection...so she was living in the house. She started making the living space more beautiful -- and this you can see even today, after thousands of years.

If you enter into a bachelor’s room you can immediately say that it is a bachelor’s room. You may not be able to decide by seeing the bachelor whether he is bachelor or not, but his room certainly is a bachelor! The woman, her touch, is missing. The house of a bachelor is never a home, it is just a place where he sleeps. It is not something with which he feels a certain intimacy, a certain creative relationship.

The home, the village, the city and the whole civilization are because of the woman, because she was free from hunting and she had different values of the heart and of the mind -- she was more aesthetic, more graceful, more earthly, not at all interested in hell and heaven and God and the devil and all that crap! No woman has written a single religious scripture. No woman has been a philosopher thinking about abstract, faraway things.

Woman’s consciousness is interested only in the intimate surroundings -- she would like a beautiful house, she would like a beautiful garden. She wants to create a small world of her own -- cozy, comfortable. She imparts a certain quality to a dead house and it becomes a living home. It is a magical transformation.

Man continued to hunt, and the woman started looking around...the man had no time. He has always been busy without business, but the woman had all the time there is. The basic work of hunting was being done by the groups of men and the woman started looking around. She discovered cultivation because she saw wild fruits growing, she saw many other things growing and she also saw that every year the crop dies, the seeds fall back into the earth and when the rains come, again those seeds sprout in thousands of plants.

She started experimenting to find what was edible and what was not edible. Soon, as hunting was becoming more and more difficult, men had to agree with women: "We have to shift our whole economic focus. We have to go for cultivation, for fruits, for vegetables. And these are in our hands -- we can produce as much as we want, as we need it, and there is tremendous variety."

Slowly, slowly the nomads, the wandering tribes...because hunters cannot stay in one place. They have to go on moving as the animals escape. Once hunting was dropped and cultivation became our very measure of survival a new thing also happened alongside.

There were people who were powerful people and there were people who were weak people. The people who were physically powerful managed to claim much ground as their property. They earned much...slowly, slowly the barter system started, because when you have too much of one crop, what are you going to do with it? You have to exchange it; then you can have many more things. Life became more complex, with more excitement.

But a problem was felt: after a person dies, who is going to inherit his property? Nobody wanted their property to be inherited by any XYZ. They wanted their property to belong to their own blood.

It is out of economics,
not out of the understanding of love
that marriage came into existence.
Its very birth was wrong,
under the wrong stars.

And because man had to agree for marriage.... The woman was very willing for the simple reason that for thousands of years in the hunting period she was not financially a part of the society; man was all. Man continued his power, although the whole social structure changed. The hunter’s nomadic life became a peaceful life in a village but man’s concern about his property.... He wanted a contract with the woman to be certain that the son she was giving birth to is not somebody else’s, but his own. For this simple purpose all the woman’s freedom had to be destroyed. She had to live almost like a prisoner, or worse.

Man agreed -- under compulsion, he compromised. If the woman was losing a few things -- her freedom of movement, her freedom in changing lovers -- man was also ready to sacrifice his freedom. They would remain devoted to each other forever.

But it is against nature. Even if you want to do it nature is not going to support you.

Nature is for freedom, not for any kind of bondage.

So new problems started arising. Men started finding prostitutes who were no-one’s wives, or as it was phrased in India, the prostitute was the wife of the whole town: nagarvadhu. She belongs to anybody, she is a commodity; you have to pay and buy her time and her body. Because of marriage it was very difficult to find married women because then there were more complexities: they had their husbands.... Prostitutes were good.

And you will be surprised to know that in India every city had its topmost prostitute -- she was the most beautiful girl born in that city. Because she was so beautiful it was not right to let her get married to one person, she had to be shared. She was so beautiful that if she got married there would be trouble, there would be problems -- people would go on falling in love with her. It was better to keep her free for anybody who would pay.

Marriage created suspicion. The husband was always suspicious about whether the child born to them was his own or not. And the problem is, the father had no way to determine that a child was his own. Only the mother knew. Because the father had no way of being certain, he created more and more walls around the woman -- that was the only possibility, the only alternative -- to disconnect her from the larger humanity. Not to educate her, because education gives wings to people, thoughts, makes people capable of revolt, so no education for women. No religious education for women, because religion makes you saints, holy people and it has been a male-dominated society for centuries and man cannot conceive a woman to be higher and holier than himself.

Man has been cutting from the very roots any possibility of woman’s growth. She is just a factory to manufacture children. She has not been accepted by any culture in the world as equal to man.

Osho: Sermons in Stones, Chapter 13.

7

2007-04-01T12:14:00.001-07:00

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes
on the grass under the trees on a summer's
day, listening to the murmur of water, or
watching the clouds float across the sky,
is by no means a waste of time.

J. Lubbock

Dia De Los Muertos

2007-03-29T17:25:00.000-07:00

This is funny

2007-03-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to take it personally...

2007-03-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

I understand I'm going on vacation for the last week of the show, but that still doesn't answer why I'm averaging 2 shifts a week when my other two co-workers average 3. I am not asking to be compensated for my voluntary absence, but I do expect to be scheduled equally for the three weeks prior to my trip. I'm starting to think my manager is either completely retarded in his staffing skills or he has issues with me. I'm guessing it's the later. I'm usually straight forward with him and honest. In short and with the last week excluded, co-worker1- 12shifts, co-worker2- 9, me-6. This is retarded and really not worth my time, but I'm PISST! I think it's time to stop bitching and find a new "fun" job.

This sucks and so does Mr. M.

2007-03-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is what I found today at work! The penny is for scale.

It escaped and is now roaming freely in our classroom. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

38 mile bike ride!

2007-03-07T18:05:00.001-08:00

vesona reservoir
Originally uploaded by GeishaMermaid.

The Kids in the Hall

2007-03-07T17:57:00.000-08:00

Preacher Character

What is friendship?

2007-03-07T17:54:00.001-08:00

The question you have asked is very complex. You will have to understand a few other things before you can understand what real authentic friendliness is.

The first is friendship. Friendship is love without any biological tones to it. It is not the friendship that you understand ordinarily — the boyfriend, the girlfriend. To use the word friend in any way associated with biology is sheer stupidity. It is infatuation and madness. You are being used by biology for reproduction purposes.

If you think you are in love, you are wrong; it is just hormonal attraction. Your chemistry can be changed and your love will disappear. Just an injection of hormones and a man can become a woman and a woman can become a man.

Friendship is love without any biological tones. It has become a rare phenomenon. It used to be a great thing in the past, but a few great things in the past have completely disappeared. It is a very strange thing that ugly things are stubborn, they don't die easily; and beautiful things are very fragile, they die and disappear very easily.

Today friendship is understood either in biological terms or in economic terms, or in sociological terms — in terms of acquaintance, a kind of acquaintance. But friendship means that if the need arises you will be ready even to sacrifice yourself. Friendship means that you have made somebody else more important than yourself; somebody else has become more precious than you yourself. It is not a business. It is love in its purity.

~Osho

The education of Cinequest

2007-03-07T17:53:00.000-08:00

* Man eaters go crazy with pleasure.
* Be respectful to all forms of life, including bugs.
* Critiquing art is pointless; beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
* Puppet feces make you vulnerable to the wills of others.
* Sometimes it's fun to play with your food.
* Nobody likes a nag.
* What comes around goes around.

Enlightened.

Actions speak louder than words...

2007-02-04T17:26:00.001-08:00

tribute
Originally uploaded by GeishaMermaid.

In 1968 Tommie Smith (gold) and John Carlos (bronze) stood on the Olympic podium in Mexico City and saluted the world with a raised fist in support of human rights. It is reported that he is not a black panther and their gestures where not ones of hate, but a silent stand for justice, tolerance and equality for man.

They both removed shoes and wore black socks to represent black poverty. The string of beads around Carlos’s neck commemorates the blacks who have been lynched. Carlos’s jacket is unzipped to represent "shift workers, blue-collar people, and the underdogs. Those are the people whose contributions to society are so important but don't get recognized." OPHR (Olympic Project for Human Rights) badges where worn by all three athletes. It was Peter Norman (silver) who suggested Smith share his other black glove with Carlos (he forgot his pair) which is why they are saluting with opposite arms.

Upon returning to the states both men were stripped of their medals and expelled from Olympic Village. Their punishment did not end with them, the families of these men continued to feel the repercussions of this event for years to come. Such are the sacrifices brave individuals make in an effort to bring about change.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Carlos-Smith.jpg

Happy belated birthday to a man who not only gave my birthday a holiday, but whom also inspires me to achieve greatness in even the smallest of acts.

Martin Luther King Jr. January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968

It starts...

2007-02-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

Beyond Illusion

2007-02-01T15:41:00.000-08:00

"Do not look outside for what is real, but look within. When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgements keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns. Drop your opinionated mind, and move inside. There, you can relax into your own deepest ruth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known."

~Osho

Capricorn

2007-01-31T13:47:00.001-08:00

"The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something," wrote art critic John Ruskin. "To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion, all in one." Your assignment in the coming week, Capricorn, is to make Ruskin's idea your method. In other words, lay aside everything you think you know, suspend your reflex to impose your beliefs on every situation you encounter, and behold the world exactly as it is. If you do it right, you'll experience pleasure beyond measure. More than that, you'll change everything you see into a more beautiful version of itself.

~Rob Brenzsny

5 years

2007-01-29T19:09:00.000-08:00

You think you're denying me of something
Well I've got plenty
You're the one who's missing out
But you won't notice
'Til after five years
If you'll live that long
You'll wake up
All loveless

I dare you
To take me on
I dare you
To show me your palms

I'm so bored with cowards
That say they want
Then they can't handle

You can't handle love
You can't handle love
You just can't handle

I dare you
To take me on
I dare you
To show me your palms

What's so scary ?
Not a threat in sight
You just can't handle
You can't handle love

You can't handle love, baby
You can't handle love
It's obvious
You can't handle

I dare you
To take me on
I dare you
To show me your palms

I'm so bored of cowards
That say they want
Then they can't handle

You can't handle love, baby
You can't handle love,
It's obvious
You can't handle

I dare you, I dare you
I dare you, I dare you

~Bjork

What a great artist! I think I've found a new obsession

Sis can cook!

2007-01-25T19:38:00.000-08:00

It's true, I admit it, I can cook.

Words of wisdom

2007-01-25T15:04:00.000-08:00

"Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light."

this song has been in my head for years...

2007-01-18T22:43:00.001-08:00

The Hole - video powered by Metacafe

Desiderata

2007-01-11T23:36:00.000-08:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/desidera.htm

Tastey!

2007-01-10T23:17:00.002-08:00

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Rebel, rebel

2007-01-08T15:33:00.000-08:00

Once again it's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea!

2007-01-05T15:55:00.000-08:00

Good Idea:
Cute boy in the car next to me blatantly hitting on me.

Bad Idea:
Cute boy in the car next to me blatantly hitting on me and then crashing into the car in front of him.

I'm evil.

2007-01-03T20:38:00.000-08:00

You Are 68% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/">How Evil Are You?

Once more...

2007-01-03T17:04:00.000-08:00

"Love is the most difficult and dangerous form of courage. Courage is the most desperate, admirable, and noble kind of love."--Delmore Schwartz

Got Dust?

2007-01-02T00:17:00.000-08:00

Useless

2006-12-31T17:40:00.000-08:00

Well it's about time
It's beginning to hurt
Time you made up your mind
Just what is it all worth

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

Watch the clock on the wall
Feel the slowing of time
Hear a voice in the hall
Echoing in my mind

All your stupid ideals
You've got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

Here I stand the accused
With your fist in my face
Feeling tired and bruised
With the bitterest taste

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

All your stupid ideals
You've got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

~Depeche Mode

Wow...

2006-12-25T03:11:00.000-08:00

Confidence...

There’s something sexy about confidence. There’s something sexy about debating a subject and never faltering, never giving in, standing true to what you believe. Pride… Pride is faltering, but confidence… Confidence is overwhelming.

Confidence is a knight in shining armor, confidence is security.

…and so there is nothing more sexy than confidence, and that’s why we love it. Hence, “The knight in shining armor.”

...and that is why I live by confidence...

My confidence is my karma.

Happy new year, and my heart wishes that you may acheive what you deserve.

And what did you do in school today...

2006-12-12T16:27:00.000-08:00

A Clockwork Snowman

something for everyone

2006-12-09T03:39:00.000-08:00

"Love does not hurt but, all too often, love gets hurt. And, love that is in pain does not always behave or react as we believe it should. No matter what feelings arise in this cycle, give them a chance to express themselves unhampered, because that is the only way they can heal. It is also the only way they can be transformed from what feels like “baggage”, to the love they once were."

Ha Ha!

2006-12-07T22:41:00.000-08:00

This is great! I love it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A Detroit woman became so crushed by despair that she decided to kill herself. Ethel Farbinger's husband and mother had died within the span of a month, and she felt she couldn't go on. Retreating to a bathroom with the intention of plunging a knife into her heart, she was diverted from her plan by a vision shimmering in the toilet bowl. There in the water she saw an image of Saint Padre Pio, who spoke to her. "Ending it all will cause more problems than it will solve," he said. "Let God's love help you through this ordeal." Farbinger's suicidal urges instantly departed, and she returned to her life with a renewed sense of purpose. I don't believe you're in anywhere near as bad a shape as she was, Capricorn, but I suspect there will be at least one similarity between her story and yours: You'll find redemption where once there was crap.

~Rob Brezsny

Die Mother F*#$er, Die!

2006-12-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

I never knew how beautifully simple life could be. I knew it would eventually feel like this, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. I've waited too long for this. Last night I did something I've been needing to do while... I bought myself a new computer. Yea! I'm very pleased to know that the online sites I use aren't sucky, only my technology was.

Ohmigod! I didn't realize how big a piece of sheet my other one was! When I was attempting to salvage the HPoovillan for donation I couldn't get it to recognize the drive I loaded my system software in. It seems it only recognizes the system recovery CD when it has crashed and then after a couple of tries (that is if it doesn't crash during recovery). Very temperamental piece of crap. Sometimes it picks on the other drives too and unfortunately for me, this week it was the one I needed. I've decided that instead of inflicting some poor soul with it, I'm going to take it out to some nearby field and go Office Space on it. Anybody care to join me?

and just for the laugh...

HPoovillan: 63.0MB RAM 18.6GB

The bat, the bat, the bat will beat computer
We don't need no salvage
Let the mother f#cker die!

On change

2006-12-04T14:50:00.000-08:00

“Outer circumstances don't need so much effort to be changed but the inner lethargy is centuries old. The unconsciousness is so primitive, its roots are so deep, that it needs a total determination on your part, a tremendous determination, a commitment, a deep involvement. You have to risk all. Unless that happens it is impossible to change yourself, you will remain the same.”

Osho